Did I remember?
by BlackOpal
Summary: Sugar Princess/BlackOpal Fics: Christian's going off to war, Satine doesn't want him to go. They spend their last precious moments together doing what else? SINGING!


Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story. Moulin Rouge, Christian and Satine belong to Baz.

            Songs used: 'Did I remember?' Shep Fields and 'I say a little prayer for you' by Hal David and Burt Bacharach.

            A/N: Madi's idea, I didn't want Christian going off to war but she said I had to let him go…****

Christian was aware of the angel within his arms. He was aware of the fact he may never see her again. He was aware that this could be the end, every fiber of his being was aware of that. He ran his fingers through her silky hair, savoring the feel. Oh how he loved her!

He sighed deeply. "Did I remember, to you I adore?" He sang softly into that silky hair. She looked up at him, tears in her eyes.

In the misty realm of sleep, Satine smiled and snuggled closer.

"And I am living for you alone," He sang louder, his voice shaking. How could he leave this angel? This goddess. "Did I remember to say, that I'm lost without you?"

"And just how mad about you've I grown," she answered

He smiled. Her voice was sweet, angelic. "You were in my arms," He wrapped her tighter in his embrace, lips whispering against her forehead. "And that was all I knew."

"We were alone, we two," she said, and tears choked up her voice. "What did I say to you?"

"Did I remember to tell you I adore you and pray you evermore are mine?" Satine ended with a sob, and buried her face in his neck.

It hurt him to see her in so much pain. She was suffering because of him, and this damn war! He loved her, so much. She was him. How could he go on living without her?

"The dawn will come..." she sniffled. "And you'll be gone."

"I know." He kissed her forehead, her sweat sinking into his lips. She had had nightmares about him going to war. He knew. He had seen her toss and turn... heard her cry out his name.

She wrapped her arms around her neck, pressing her face against his cheek. "I don't want you to go."

He couldn't bare it anymore. He threw back the blankets and walked over to the balcony. Every moment he looked at her, he slowly changed his mind about leaving... but he had to. Watching her cry only made it harder to leave her.

Bravely, she wiped away a tear. "I know," she sniffled, "I shouldn't try to make you feel bad, because it's your duty to go to war and my duty to send you, but..." another tear jumped out, "I just wish it didn't hurt so much."

He stared out the window, at the Moulin Rouge. It was where his dreams came true, where he met Satine. How ironic it was that his dreams ended there too. He would fight to the death to come back to Satine. But who was he to decide when he died? "I don't want to go Satine, you know that." He turned back to her, her masacara now in rivers down her cheeks.

"I know." she said helplessly, and she gripped the sheets in the fists she made, and more tears trailed down her face.

He couldn't hurt her. He slowly stepped over to the bed and climbed carefully on top of her. He kissed her shoulders and neck. "Darling I love you. Every day I'll think of you. I'll always be with you."

"No, you won't!" she wailed, gripping his neck, wrapping her arms around his neck miserably. "You'll be gone! Away at some stupid war that has nothing to do with you! And then you'll get killed and they'll send some stupid telegram saying how sorry they will be, but they won't really care, because they've got plush jobs in some safe office and THEIR wives don't have to worry about them like I will! I won't be able to live for fear!"

"If I should die this very moment, I wouldn't fear. I've never known completeness like being here." He sang softly into her ear. Her body was convulsing with sobs. He, oddly, was calm. "I'll never leave you. If I die, I'll forever haunt your dreams. I'll be in every breath you take, and every tear you cry." He kissed her again. "I may be dead, but I'll be with you."

She shook her head. "No. You won't be. You'll be gone, and I'll be alone, and everyone'll expect me to be proud because you died patriotically, and all I'll be able to think will be damn the war and patriotism. No," she shook her head, pressing her forehead to his cheek. "I can't let you go."

He rolled off her angrily. "Satine stop it!" Her grabbed her arms and roughly pulled her into a sitting position with him. His arms rubbed her back comfortingly as she sobbed against him. "I must leave you. I'm not expecting you to smile and be proud, I know this is killing you inside. It's killing me too. But you must let me go, I must let you go. Our world is collapsing around us. It's not safe anymore. I have to make it safe... for us."

She made a whimpering noise but did not dispute him, instead crawling into his lap and sobbing against his chest. "But how do I know I'll ever see you again?"

"Because we belong together. I'm nothing without you, you're nothing without me. You've got to believe in that Satine." He kissed her forehead, his love for her was immense.

Satine was suddenly ashamed of her cheeks that were sticky with her tears. If he could be brave, so could she. She pulled away and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

When she emerged a few minutes later, she was scrubbed clean, her face freshly made up. She crawled up on the bed next to him, and whispered. "I'm going to the train station with you."

Seeing her clean and elegant again, gave him confidence. She was trying, but seeing him leave? That would break her... watching her wave as the train pulled out, that would break him. "Maybe you shouldn't..."

She swallowed carefully, trying not to let her emotion to swamp her again. "I have to. It's like, a closure thing. I need to watch you go- or it'll be even worse for me." She added, as if reading his mind.

Christian nodded. He wanted her happy. "Ok darling," He cradled her face, tracing her jawbone with his finger. "Come now, let's sleep." He laid her down in the bed, and tucked the covers around her. Underneath, she looked sickly thin. He climbed in next to her. Satine, ignoring the fact that she was tucked in, scooted closer to him and laid her head on to his chest.

She exhaled shakily, not willing to waste their last few precious hours sleeping.

Christian laughed slightly. He could see her eyes slowly dropping. "Darling, I'll be here when you wake."

"You'd better be."

"I will," And with that, Christian fell asleep with Satine in his arm.

"Forever and ever, you'll stay in my heart and I will love you. Forever and ever, we never will part and how I love you forever and ever is how it must be, to live without you would only mean heartbreak for me..." She listened to her lover's heart beating, she didn't even know when she dozed off.


End file.
